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Monday, September 10, 2007


Yes, it's true. I am not kidding, nor this is a prank or I'm being ironic for some reason.
The other day somebody asked me who's the most important artist of the 2000's and I don't have anybody else in mind or more influential. I can't think of anything better than Britney Spears. She arrived in our minds in 1999 when she was just seventeen (and you know what that means.) She presented a pre-fab model of girl that was always there but we barely cared about: the teenage suburb girl who was boiling in heat and frustration. She sings, like our singer Storm Large said once, "like somebody is giving it to her. With the cock in her. Every syllabe. She invented a new form. She's a pro!" (click here to hear Storm bantering about Miss Spears in 2005.) I think the message of her voice it's more about masturbation than sex or love itself. Britney is singing about the lack of love and passion caused because she doesn't know how to deal with love, with the other person. It's always about me, me and only me. And that happens to everyone in the world. Therefore her popularity. Because of her the Internet bandwiths get cluttered with searchs like "britney spears mtv," "britney naked," "britney kiss madonna," "paris hilton," "perez hilton..." Get it? The 2000's is her decade. The decade of me, me, me.
Unlike the baby boomers in the sixties, Britney didn't have any noble plans of changing the world but just have fun, get emotional and use the buzz of being happy and/or sad just to get by. Britney Spears is the artist of the decade because she embeds everything this Western World has turned into: Comfortably Numbness while others are stealing our money, our souls, our lives. She has been chosen to be the symbol of Failure (Paris Hilton, Lohan and others are just followers or consequences, Britney is the true leader). Unfortunately the spirit of the 60's, the rock and roll souls, the funkyness is dead for the mainstream and the media. She rehearsed a lot to reach where she's at.

Britney Spears has, for starters, a very cool name, easy to remember and let's say she has charisma. A manipulative mother took her to the Mickey Mouse club (another bubble-maker) and made her a superstar. She even chose who she had to date: another Mouseketeer named Justin Timberlake who eventually got better (come on, that song "Sexy Back" is very cool!) after breaking up with her. They were not "falling out of love" because they never were in love. They were just right for each other but they got bored of the rat race their lovelife became.

Britney started to feel the weight of being famous and things, naturally, happened. Got married once, but the marriage didn't last more than 1 day. Met a dancer named Kevin and married him and under the sanctity of that marriage she had two kids. Then she divorced him after realizing he was just using her. Mrs. Spears was following the sign of the times: When a woman can use a man as an in-house sperm donor and pretend the conversations they're having mean they were in love. It was just another girl from the suburbs who happened to be very, very sexy and very clueless of her surroundings. What was unusual is the immense ammount of fame she got for doing simple things, like hooking up with a boy, or not wearing underwear while hanging out with Paris Hilton.

Notice I didn't talk about her music, or what albums she has released, or how good or bad her production is (it has to be accurate, but not necessarily creative). Britney's life, her own drama is what she gives to us. The most beautiful singer in the world in 2003 and a flop in 2007. Last night at the VMA's she was just not there. She didn't rehearsed at all, moved her body in a clumsy way and turned her critics into wolves who tore her apart like a wounded deer.

I think she wasn't that bad. She looked sexy, like a stripper, pretty much like what Madonna was doing in the early nineties. The song she sang, "Gimme More," (again, it's about me, me, me) is way better than the usual shit I get from the radio nowadays, and it's kinda catchy. She's still an attractive woman, a 25 year old with two kids looking that hot? in the U.S.? Very unusual. She's still a beautiful blonde. But she was being herself and that's what we are expecting of her. It was not a wise or a smart move but her life itself. I forgive this more, way more than that stupid comment she made in 2003 supporting the War in Iraq. Again, the number of supporters is going down and that's a good thing, but that's another story.

Britney, from this outpost I salute you. Artist of the Decade and future member of the Classic Rock elite.

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